Start with the grits. Add the coconut milk and water to a large pot. Mix initially to combine, then heat the liquids over medium high. Once they come to a boil, add a large pinch of salt along with the grits. Drop the heat down to medium, then continue to whisk the grits until they start to thicken and sputter. Once this happens, drop the heat down to low, cover the pot, and allow them to cook for 15 minutes. After 15 minutes, remove the grits from the heat and carefully stir in the shredded cheese. Once the cheese has melted, taste the grits and season with salt and pepper as needed. 

While the grits are cooking, you can start the stewed vegetables. Heat a large skillet over medium heat. Once the skillet is hot, add the oil. When the oil comes to temperature, add the shallot and cook for 2-3 minutes or until translucent. Make sure to stir it frequently so that it doesn’t burn. Add the garlic and cook for about 1 minute, then add 1 teaspoon of the Old Bay, the okra, and a small pinch of salt. Stirring regularly, cook this mixture until the okra softens and turns a more vibrant shade of green. This should take 3-5 minutes.

Once the okra softens, add the tomatoes, the water, and the remaining teaspoon of Old Bay seasoning. Stir to combine, then cover the pan. Cook the mixture for 5 minutes covered, then remove the lid, stir the mixture, and cook for an additional 5 minutes. Carefully taste the stewed vegetables and season with additional salt/pepper as needed. Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the lemon zest.

Serve the stewed tomatoes and okra over bowls of the cheesy grits.